Don’t Buy the Lie #3 – If I Had a Better Spouse, I Would Be Happy

If you have been married for any length of time, it’s likely that this thought has crossed your mind – “if I had a better spouse, I would be happy.”

Since Adam and Eve, the blame game has existed in humans, it’s easy to attribute our happiness or unhappiness in our marriage to our spouse. The fact is that happiness has more to do with you than your spouse. No one can make you happy or unhappy. You are in control of your response to your spouse. The secret to a happy marriage really starts with God and where you get your values, your sense of security and purpose from.

To this end, Zig Ziglar writes in his book Courtship After Marriage:

“I have no way of knowing whether or not (you) married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you

could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.”

If you are married, in God’s eyes, you are married to the right person.There are things, about your spouse, contributing to your state of unhappiness, which your spouse may or may not change. You will need to become the right kind of person, by changing the way you look at them.

Are you being the right kind of person for your spouse?

Philippians 4: 11-13

I am not saying this because

I am in need, for I have learned to be

content whatever the circumstances.

I know what it is to be in need,

and I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of being content

in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty

or in want. I can do everything

through him who gives me strength.


About cindylritter

Marriage mentor, encourager, writer, dedicated to teaching marriage God's way.
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